I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person. I do like the idea of appreciating your loved one. I understand that sometimes life gets in the way, and taking a day to remind someone how much you care is not only vital, but necessary to maintaining a healthy relationship. I like chocolate. I don’t mind the color pink. It’s all the other stuff that bothers me.

However. Instead of droning on about the nauseous feeling I get every time I walk into a drugstore in the two weeks before this silly, disgustingly consumer-driven holiday, I have a present for all of you:


I’m afraid I can’t offer much explanation. He loves you… and so does his tapeworm. Or his tapeworm loves you and is speaking through his host body. There’s really a number of ways to translate this, and they are all disturbing. Feel free to pass it along to all those people in your life that you care about. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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